Self-Defeating Habits

Posted by Judy Anne Cavey on Mar 23, 2011 in , , | No Comments

Do you possess these habits?

Anna Maravelas, psychologist and expert in workplace issues, believes there are two self-defeating habits in the office: finger pointing and self blame–both destructive–are rampant and must be addressed.

When something goes wrong, fingers point in the direction of whomever people feel are to blame. The frustration raises blood pressure and productivity falls. The flip side is self-blame, the finger points to the one in the mirror, which is equally destructive in certain incidences.

How do you stop these self-defeating habits and bring more harmony into your workplace and life? Ms. Maravelas, who has been hired by Fortune 500 companies and small businesses to eradicate the lose-lose behavior that erodes the company bottom line, believes people need to “assume differently”.

In her book, How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress, she provides readers with a real life scene to drive home her point: think “BIBS” or “baby in the back seat”. You are running late, a person in front of you is looking in the back seat and misses the green light. They ignore your honk (making you even more angry) and they hop out of the car to attend to their child. You find out later this parent was frantically trying to clear the child’s throat, to save it’s life, since the child was choking. How do you feel now? Can you transfer that into a work situation?

Instead of thinking this person in front of you (or at the office) is a idiot, perhaps thinking BIBS (understanding that there is something going on you aren’t aware of) will help keep your cool. Turning the focus from “Who was wrong?” to “What went wrong and how do we fix it?” is more productive in the long run.